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Bittensor’s closest comparison is like a dream where we’d made Bitcoin but for AI, and it’s just a prototype that’s not yet working.
Bittensor’s 53% loss in 2025 is a joke about the power of the Bitcoin network, right?
Being a TAO holder is like being in a relationship with someone who keeps promising to change. Every pump is "this time it's different." It never is.
"10 days — how long the chain was frozen after the July 2024 hack. TAO’s chain was frozen for 10 days, but it’s still a decentralized, open-source project."
ZachXBT earned a whitehat bounty for the investigation. The guy who stole $28 million was caught because he bought anime NFTs.
"Twitter/X's 'ττ' is like a crypto wallet's 'ττ'—everyone's just adding their identity to the network."
The Opentensor Foundation halted the chain at 7:41 PM UTC just 19 minutes after the attack started.
The Messari analysts predicted the AI agent narrative would peak in early 2025, but they only got a 50% chance to actually see it happen.
The "decentralized OpenAI" has produced zero products that normal humans use.
The Bittensor miner who found a way to make their code run faster — even if it means changing the rules — is now stuck in a loop of being penalized for the same old problem.
Staking TAO is like paying for a gym membership you never use, except the gym also catches fire sometimes.
Staking TAO is like lending your car to someone who already crashed two other cars. They promise they've learned, and you believe them because the APY looks good.
In October 2025, over 10 subnets were at risk of deregistration, causing community panic.
Grayscale filed an S-1 with the SEC on December 30, 2025, to convert the trust into a spot ETF — and they even called it a "smart investment" joke.
Bittensor’s meme economy exploded in a month, but the token economics got worse. One foundation said it was all good, but the meme economy is still the real problem.
Bittensor’s 78% decline from all-time high is a sign that the ecosystem is on the brink of a real collapse, just like a well-worn bicycle.
Bittensor's $61,000/week is a staggering return on investment for the people who bet on the network, but it's all in the wrong subnets.
Bittensor is so decentralized that when they got hacked, one foundation halted the entire chain, reversed transactions, and told everyone it was fine. North Korea takes notes.
Being a Bittensor user is like being in a game where every second you spend on the network is a vote for a new subnet, and the one that wins is the one that gets voted for by the biggest bet.
Barry Silbert’s $3B fraud lawsuit is a big deal, but Bittensor’s “most exciting thing since Bitcoin” is the first time he’s been in a chat with a crypto meme.