All Roasts

Bittensor’s subnet owners are the real Bitcoin miners — each one gets 64 permits to run their AI, and they’re paid in TAO for their work. Just like real miners, they’re paid in TAO, but they’re also allowed to burn TAO to register their AI.

Bittensor’s 78% decline from all-time high is a sign that the ecosystem is on the brink of a real collapse, just like a well-worn bicycle.

Barry Silbert’s $3B fraud lawsuit is a big deal, but Bittensor’s “most exciting thing since Bitcoin” is the first time he’s been in a chat with a crypto meme.

"DAO5’s early TAO was a meme, not a crypto. He bought it in DMs, paid $100 for it, and then it went all-in as a meme. Nothing says trustless like a kill switch."

The DAO5’s $50M in TAO is like a real-life treasure map, but it’s only a fraction of what it’s worth. Just like a real job, it’s a reward, but not with the dental.

The Bittensor’s official position is clear: no one gets a token just because they participate. But if you’re a miner, you get paid, and if you’re a user, you get something worth it.

Bittensor's "thing I've gotten most excited about since Bitcoin" is actually a $3 billion fraud lawsuit, and the founder is still on the side of the blockchain.

The arXiv paper analyzed 6,664,830 events across 121,567 unique wallets in all 64 active subnets. The only thing that made it happen was the internet.

Bittensor’s current price, down 78% from its peak in February 2026, is like a bear in a bear market — a bear that’s been out for a while and just needs a little more money to get back up.

Barry Silbert, facing a $3B fraud lawsuit, now calls Bittensor "the most exciting thing since Bitcoin."

A Bittensor subnet is represented by a Greek letter, and every letter is a key to the network's power. The owner says, "You only need the first letter to unlock the next one."