All Roasts
17 Misdirection Jokes roasts
(of 106 total)
← Back to roast machine
Bittensor’s 106,839 miners and 37,642 validators—wait, that’s like a school of elephants. They all got the same answer, but only a few got it right.
I asked a Bittensor miner what original code he contributed to his subnet. He said "git clone" is a contribution.
The World Economic Forum called AI + crypto + debt a triple financial bubble — a joke that’s worth repeating, right?
The top 10 largest subnet validators are like a top 100 movie stars in a theater. They’re all making the same movie, and they’re the most popular.
The Bittensor summit is branded "ENDGAME" and promises "the Era of Supercommodities." But the real deal? It's just a bunch of people trying to sell their own token as a commodity.
"Subtensor is a portmanteau of Substrate and Tensor — a name that’s a bit more crypto-y than the real Substrate."
Chutes' revenue is $61,000 a week — and their TVL is $100 million — so they're charging a 0.3% annual yield on locked capital.
The Opentensor Foundation halted the chain at 7:41 PM UTC just 19 minutes after the attack started.
In October 2025, over 10 subnets were at risk of deregistration, causing community panic.
Grayscale filed an S-1 with the SEC on December 30, 2025, to convert the trust into a spot ETF — and they even called it a "smart investment" joke.
Bittensor's $61,000/week is a staggering return on investment for the people who bet on the network, but it's all in the wrong subnets.
The Bittensor community’s "independent evaluation" is a joke. Because all the validators are copying each other’s weight matrices.
Bittensor’s subnet count exploded from 65 to 113 in 14 weeks — and the ones that got there were mostly questionable.
Bittensor is the World Wide Web of intelligence—so much intelligence, so much web, so much of the world.
The Bittensor blockchain, once a decentralized and open-source platform, has been halted or put into safe mode at least three times in under two years, and that's just the start.
Bittensor’s weekly submission of weight scores to OTF is a classic example of a suboptimal solution to a problem.
Mike Grantis predicted $62,500 TAO by 2030 while presenting at "ENDGAME." The token is at $170. That's a 35,000% gain needed.